GeekLimit

Sorry, I don’t speak Legalese

Posted by The Technocrat | Filed under Geeky, Operating Systems

Bryce writes:

“Many technicians in the computer industry install copies of WindowXP Home onto systems multiple times a week and everytime you do, you are agreeing to the Windows XP EULA (End User License Agreement). Most people just click the “I Agree” and accept it as the usual legal mumbo-jumbo. Since you are agreeing to be bound by it (even if you don’t read it you are still bound by it) you might as well know what you are being bound to.”

XP Home EULA Translated by technibble

Thanks Bryce! I prefer the one done by LinuxAdvocate myself. First off, let me say – friends don’t let friends use XP Home. However, since this is the XP Home EULA, here are my favorite parts of the XP Home EULA translation:

• If you share files or printers with other computers in your house, you are not allowed to share with more than 5 other computers.
• big family? sorry, go pay US$85 extra per machine for XP Pro…at 5+ machine, this starts at $425. Ow. (Dell)
  
• You agree that at any time, and at the request of “content providers” Microsoft may disable certain features on your computer, such as the ability to play your music or movie files.
• DRM anyone?
• Now that’s a great mentality for a service industry… “btw, we’ll cripple it at any time”
  
• You agree that Microsoft can automatically and without your consent put new software on your computer.
• I think the malware people already have that market cornered; thanks for IE6 btw…
  
• Microsoft may collect information about your computer and may share it with other companies, but this may not include personal information about you.
• may?
  
• Software developers cannot attempt to figure out how Windows XP Home works for any reason.
• I’m sure that makes app development interesting… explains why all apps work flawlessly on XP Home…
  
• You may not rent, lease, or lend your computer with Windows XP Home on it or otherwise make commercial use of it.
• Sorry, your super awesome webhosting company won’t be using XP Home for an OS
• Microsoft may cancel any service that they provide to you at any time and for any reason.
• also see: kill off 98 2000 XP patches to sell 2000 XP Vista software
• Interesting concept. ‘I know you paid for water service and we let the well get poisoned, but hey, you’ll have to buy our new service if you want to continue to get good water…we’re not making you though, so feel free to do what you want…’
  
• After upgrading software, you may no longer use the older version of the software.
• no takebacks! hahahahaha. sucker. Enjoy the latest WMP.
  
• You may sell your copy of Windows XP Home.
• In fact, GeekLimit encourages it
• Microsoft assures you that Windows XP Home will work correctly for the first 90 days. They do not assure you that Windows XP Home or any “service packs” or “hot fixes” will work correctly after this time.
• There’s a vote of confidence, where would a 3-month warranty be useful? Groceries?
  
• Microsoft is not liable even if they break the terms of this agreement.
• That’s fair. ‘Oh, and by the way, all that stuff about protecting your privacy and that? I had my fingers crossed.’
  

Anyone else know of any legalese-to-engish translations out there, maybe not just for EULA’s?

Comments (4) | June 2nd, 2006

4 Responses to “Sorry, I don’t speak Legalese”

1. stabani Says:
   June 2, 2006 at 1:18 pm

   I had a laugh when I read my first EULA, which just happened to be a winxp home ediiton one. Quite funny indeed.
2. maz Says:
   June 3, 2006 at 2:58 pm

   flippen eck, i didn’t know any of that. thanks for hte info!
3. bumsk Says:
   June 4, 2006 at 2:41 am

   man.. i barely understood the translated version…
4. Nick Barrett Says:
   June 4, 2006 at 2:14 pm

   Never knew any of that, wow, microsoft really is getting shitier every day…